Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Winter break
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Last night
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Portfolio Intro
--Introduction
The longing of a stranger is a universal thing. As Walt Whitman describes so beautifully in a number of his poems, there is something inherently mysterious about them. We have no conceptions of who these people are, other than their physical appearances or perhaps a few stolen spoken words. They aren’t muddled with previous notions of things they’ve done or said or things they will do or will say. Be it the love for a stranger across a room or coffee shop, the admiration of a stranger from across the street or subway, or a simple curiosity toward the way a stranger walks or talks or simply is, the theme resurges again and again in classical and modern poetry.
At a poetry reading I attended a few weeks ago, a woman told us of her daughter who was traveling in France. Her daughter told her over the phone how much she missed human physical contact. Wherever she went, she would see strangers she wanted to hug or kiss. There was something about certain people, even in another country, that made her feel so intimate.
I chose to break my manuscript into two parts, the “Real” and the “(Un)real,” because I believe, in the fascination of strangers, there is an element of realness to it (their appearance, the inflection of their voice if you are close enough, their facial expressions) and an element of fantasy (their families, their job, their sex life, what they prefer in their coffee, what god they believe in, who they’re going home to tonight). Similar to Charles Baudelaire’s Flowers of Evil, I like to play around with the blurring of edges between reality and fantasy, good and evil, real and unreal. Even in stories of the most whimsical kind, there are still hints of truth in them. We wouldn’t read them unless we felt connected to them in one way or another.
Like dreams, I believe that my fictional poems arise directly from my psyche. They are a part of me, as are the stories in them, even if I did not realize it when writing them down. In the poems directly stemming from my life, I wish to convey a richer perception of life and the world around me. I don’t believe that what we see around us is all there is. Like the strangers we see on the street, there is more to them than what we see on the outside, so much more. And in this world, this universe, there is so much more.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Shadow Baby
that you are pregnant
I knew it
the moment it happened
I heard you humming
sensed your feet
become heavier
felt your breath
on my shoulder
shadow, what will your baby
look like?
will she have hair?
will she have my eyes
or yours?
will she look like me?
I always thought of shadows
as being cold
but how can they
when they exist
only through sunlight?
shadow, what will you teach
your baby?
will you teach her loyalty
love
how to hum with the wind?
that’s how
you will speak to her
isn’t it, shadow?
through hums and clicks
her tiny, leaf-like fingers
wrapped around
your wrist
when you hold her
for the first time
shadow, please tell me
when she is born
I know she is a girl
because I can feel it
in my bones
my blood
the skin on my back
and shadow, when she does arrive
on a sunny day
after a string of cloudy ones
when she does arrive
will you let me hold her?
I only wish to sleep
inside her eyes
once
and to smell her scent
of soil
and light
Saturday, October 16, 2010
The Non-Living
outside in the sun
a strand of blonde hair
moves, jerky
as if a living thing
struggling to breathe
against the wind—
wild, savage
I pinch the hair tight
between index finger
and thumb
and kill it
I remember earlier
under tiles
how the pipes sighed
and the sinks moaned
trying to speak
And on my way to lunch
three flats of roses
sat in the backseat of a car
windows rolled down
so they could breathe
And in our bed
last night—
how closely I wrapped
my arms around you
as if afraid to
let go
and when you
looked at me
how your eyes looked
so lifeless
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Theories of Time and Space
there's no going home.
Everywhere you go will be somewhere
you've never been. Try this:
head south on Mississippi 49, one-
by-one mile markers ticking off
another minute of your life. Follow this
to its natural conclusion – dead end
at the coast, the pier at Gulfport where
riggings of shrimp boats are loose stitches
in a sky threatening rain. Cross over
the man-made beach, 26 miles of sand
dumped on the mangrove swamp – buried
terrain of the past. Bring only
what you must carry – tome of memory,
its random blank pages. On the dock
where you board the boat for Ship Island,
someone will take your picture:
the photograph – who you were—
will be waiting when you return.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Good weekend, bad writing
Thursday, September 2, 2010
nice whip darlin.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Calm night
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Feeling
Do you ever hear something with which you've had no experience but you still know exactly what that person is talking about and exactly how they're feeling for just one second or one minute? And even if the feeling vanishes, you still have this indescribable knowledge of the experience? That's how I felt last night. It folded over into today.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
22
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Prompts
Monday, May 17, 2010
Summer is here
Thursday, April 29, 2010
What a strange, beautiful world
The show was great. Jónsi's voice was beautiful (he sounded like a recording), the set-up was beautiful, the entire experience was beautiful. After the show, Shaun and I took the elevator to the 22nd floor of the hotel and stood out on the terrace to see the city at night. Everything was peaceful. Even the clouds the day after the show were calm.
I've more or less been inside my head since I got back.
jónsi - sinking friendships (live) from Jónsi on Vimeo.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
New poem
Extermination
After war painting #14 – “Extermination”
The man directly
to the right of me
is shot first
His left index finger
lands at my feet
Shards of glass
from the market
beside me
falls from the sky
like broken leaves
The sun is so bright
I can’t see the helicopter
only the body
and my own
shaking arms
The shot hits
before I hear it
The bag of groceries
I was carrying falls
to the ground
Clouds like mushrooms
rise from the dirt
like the ones my wife
cooks for dinner
on days she’s feeling lonely
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Sophie
over the femoral vein of each thigh
with a razor when her neighbor
found her, walking in
Her neighbor had to catch a plane to Austria
and the hospital let Sophie go
a few hours later after discovering
that she did not have health insurance
Sophie walked to the fresh market
across the street, bought
three eggplants and walked back
to her apartment
After cleaning the blood from the bathroom
Sophie went to the kitchen, peeled
one of the eggplants in stripes, cut it into cubes,
lightly salted it, and fried it in oil
for about twenty minutes
After she was done eating, she read
fifteen more pages of Diderot’sJacques le fataliste (in French)
and went to bed
The next morning,
she ate another eggplant for breakfast,
added some leaves and bumblebees
to the zinnias on her thighs
and took a bus to the hospital
after realizing that she still had
thirty-two pages of the novel to read
On the way back,
she stopped by the market again
to buy a pair of thick gardening gloves
and seven packets of seeds
(green peppers, strawberries, tomatoes,
sunflowers, squash, zinnias and eggplants)
Sophie planted the flowers
and the eggplants in the small garden
on her balcony and went inside
to make some raspberry lemonade,
sit in her mustard yellow armchair
and read the last thirty-two pages
Monday, April 5, 2010
4-5-10
But now back to school. I'm setting some goals for myself for the rest of the semester. I'm going to try to exercise at least twice a week (yoga, bike riding, jogging), eat more (I think this may be contributing to my 24/7 exhaustion), write a poem a week, and start thinking seriously about what to do after graduation. I'm also conducting a little experiment with myself. I've always had problems with stomachaches. I feel like everything I eat upsets my stomach. My mom is hypoglycemic, has thyroid problems, and has dairy and wheat allergies (which means all of these lovely things were probably passed down to me). So this week, I'm eating no dairy to see how I react. Then next week, no wheat. If my belly still hates me, I may have to go to a doctor and/or nutritionist. Bahhh.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
A day of art, music, delicious food and good company
Today was a very good day. I got up bright and early to go teach the 3rd graders with Elizabeth. We taught them how to write alphabet poems and I think it went really well! One of the girls even wrote about me and Elizabeth in her poem. It was so precious and touching.
Right after teaching, I picked up Jaime and we headed out to the Andy Warhol Museum in Pittsburgh for our 1960s Lit and Culture class. Only our teacher and a few other people from our class went but while we were there, we met Jaime's grandpa and aunt. The museum was great.
Then after the museum we met her other aunt at Kaya, a fantastic "island cuisine" restaurant/bar. I got curry vegetables and rice which was DELICIOUS. We ate and talked for quite a while. I found out that her aunt is getting married to her girlfriend in the summer and that they're making each other's wedding rings at a craft place (how cute is that??).
After dinner we went to the craft/art store since it was right across the street. It had tons of amazing art including glass, ceramics, jewelry, charms and other such things. I wanted to buy everything there (but it was all very expensive.)
Then we said goodbye and started heading back to Ohio. We listened/sang along to nothing but The Beatles the whole ride back.
When I got back to Ohio, me, my mom and the siblings went out to Aladdin's for dinner. And now I'm sitting here at the apartment drinking wine and writing a poem for tomorrow. Good day.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Born from the Wind
we moved through air
like grass
Our hair clicked
against our earlobes,
bare breasts brushed
against t-shirts,
naked feet pounded
the earth like bombs-
but instead of leaving ruin,
we left words,
music,
flowers
We raised our arms
to the sky
to pull the clouds
a little closer,
to make the earth
a little softer
We flew on
each other’s backs
from New York
to LA
and back to New York
We handed out flyers,
even if no one wanted them
held signs until
our arms melted from the pain,
shouted milky protests
from broken throats,
asked passersby
Can you dig it?
Well, what exactly are you digging?
a straight once asked me
and I told him-
We are digging
for knowledge,
for self-acceptance,
for a world
that doesn’t know
the meaning of a bomb
but the meaning of a smile
get with the words,
hear some lingo,
talk
to each other
Loaded on language,
loaded on drugs
we kept on haulin’
Kept on haulin’
‘til the clouds
floated back to the sky,
‘til the drugs wore off,
‘til the edges of the flyers
folded and browned,
and all that was left
of the groove
was the tug of the wind
in our bones
Sunday, March 21, 2010
The aftermath
Friday, March 5, 2010
February '10
I slouch toward the sky
We stain our hands with stones
I was left in the kitchen with broken pieces of your shoulder
I heard her speaking but no words came out
She dries her feet to step in water
Lies between thighs
Eating an emotion leaves a strange feeling in the belly
She melts in the bathwater in a puddle of anomalies
Thursday, March 4, 2010
3-4-10
Monday, March 1, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Back in the swing of things
I met with Kim Winebrenner today and decided that I'm going to graduate by next spring (very terrifying!). So seeing that I need to have an extensive writing portfolio finished by next year (especially if I want to apply for an MFA program), I need to start writing and reading a lot more. I've decided to start up my monthly poems again and I'm going to try to give myself a writing prompt or ask friends to give me a prompt every week. I also want to get back into drawing/photography so I have something else to woo the people who look at my writing collection.
Blah blah blah busy busy busy. No sleep for me next year.
Brian and Jon (pantoum)
He rubs his bleeding thumb on a rock
Brian shrugs and pulls some grass from the riverbed
The moon hums to the beat of their eardrums
He rubs his bleeding thumb on a rock
Brian hears nothing but the blood in his chest
The moon hums to the beat of their eardrums
Jon washes his hand in the river
Brian hears nothing but the blood in his chest
Jon’s eyes are heady with wine
Jon washes his hand in the river
The dew of Brian’s lips is on Jon’s shoulder
Jon’s eyes are heady with wine
They stained their hands with stone
The dew of Brian’s lips is on Jon’s shoulder
Jon holds the bleeding rock, afraid to let it go
The pupils in their eyes are as far as Orion's Belt
Brian shrugs and pulls some grass from the riverbed
The color in their eyes is as close as Orion's Belt
This night will kill us both, Jon says
Thursday, February 4, 2010
I dive into your skin
burrow in the cracks
of your hands
slide across the dip
near your collar bone
oh how nice it feels!
on the tip of my nose
(the golden honey crater orbs)
and whisper,
I want you most on the weekends
at 6 o’clock in the evening
your hair curls around
my brain like
sugar-sweet tentacles
tickling my thoughts
the small white scar
on the divot of your back
reminds me you are human
reminds me you are mine
but does that make you
a possession, saying
“you are mine”?
something to own
nor a liquid
nor even a person
but a small, twinkling idea
settled on the bottom
of my ribcage
sending sporadic bursts
of sunlight warmth
through my light, white body