Halloween poem

BLOOD-FOLD

he can’t see me in the dim bar light.

he is smiling at someone else.

someone else is hidden.

someone else is meaningless.

are my edges beginning to fade,

with nothing to drape my organs?

I become a platelet, spilled on concrete.

eat me with a fork and swallow.

he is a blur of black-and-white face paint—

a ghoul, a shadow, a sharp-toothed reminder.

why do I always construct myself

from other people’s skeletons?

this trust has run dry.

this marrow contains no water.

the room pulses like a vein

and I am suddenly aware of myself.

I step out into a throng of strangers.

the night tangles its breath on my coat.

this ache     hangs      like a web.

"A plant is said to be dead if it doesn't grow"

I've been feeling unbelievably unmotivated lately. I wish only to curl up under blankets, watch movies, and eat good winter food like chili or stew. But, on goes school. And on goes teaching. I hope you all are being more productive than I am.

An outfit I wore out to dinner with Dennis:

Everything was thrifted except for the necklace (H&M), the watch (Meijer), and the tights (Target)

Also, the sun coming in through the window looked beautiful last week. I think it may be contributing to my dreamy mood.

I am nonsense

This is what this weeks feel like:

New poems

Just a couple of new poems. I'm still revising them (am I ever finished revising anything?) but I thought I'd share anyway. Comments/critiques are appreciated.

HOURS

The hours gather wildly at the end of the day

then calm themselves

and fall asleep in the dim lamp light

It is during these times I often think:

I am wrong about everything

Crack-throated and weary, I collapse—

a heavy mass of bone-waves and weeping skin

Buried in soil, disconnected at the limbs

I want someone to comfort me,

pull me up by the roots and kiss me

The day proceeds like an aging alcoholic

too wet and slow to escape from its own drunkenness

I don’t know how true this is

but I don’t question much these days

YOU WITHOUT BOUNDARIES

Your hands are two moonflowers,
blooming in dark rooms

The hush and push of your petal-fingers

extinguish me like a dying flame

Your teeth click like cracked shells,

the grooves flowing, flowing

Listen:

it is the heart that keeps us grounded, not the legs

Outside, the trees uproot themselves

and fall around us

Your eyes turn to water,

your flower hands turn to water

And the hinges of your mouth

release me like a chorus

Rainy days

It's been super rainy/windy over the past few days. As a result, I've become more of a homebody than I already am. Just thought I'd update with a couple more outfits.

Grey blazer- Sears, Shirt- thrifted, Skirt- thrifted (Wet Seal), Rope belt- thrifted, Pink converse- Journey's

Black blazer- JCPenney, Ring & bracelets- thrifted, Necklace- H&M, Black skinny jeans- thrifted, Mary Jane heels- thrifted

"To float you must float from within"

I feel that in the short amount of time I've been enrolled in the MFA program at Bowling Green, I've learned so much about poetry and about what it is I really want to accomplish in my own writing. I've written more poems that mean something to me over the past eight weeks than I think I ever have. I'm going to spend some time this weekend on revising so, hopefully, I'll post a couple new poems sometime next week (I should probably be posting poetry on a blog that originated as a creative writing blog, right?).

In other news, Karissa and I had a successful afternoon of thrifting today. I found quite a few items of clothing that I've been looking for. I'm sure I'll have photo evidence soon. For now, what I wore yesterday:

Shirt- Target, Spandex skirt- thrifted, Skinny belt- Target, Sweater tights- gift, Oxford shoes- thrifted, Locket necklace- H&M, Orange ring- thrifted, Cropped jacket- thrifted, Scarf- Target, Sunglasses- thrifted

"Let us never be rescued from this mess"

I'd like to preface this with something about the title of this post. It's a line from Aimee Nezhukumatathil's poem "Baked Goods" (she has a crazy name, right?). I was just recently introduced to her by my workshop professor, Jennifer Chang, a couple weeks ago. After reading a few of her poems, I was so arrested by her work, I bought her newest book, Lucky Fish (which has a beautiful cover--you should look it up). While still in my giddiness-in-discovering-a-wonderful-new-poet phase, she came to read at Bowling Green this past Thursday. Her reading was just as captivating as her writing--she has a strange voice in a lot of her poems, her reading was really lively and funny, and I connected with a lot of what she said. Needless to say, I had her sign my book and talked with her for a few minutes (turns out we both have a love for oxford shoes and Naomi Shihab Nye). After the reading, Jennifer had a reception at her house which was equally as illuminating. Lots of good company.

But. On to the rest of the entry: I've found myself obsessing over tattoo ideas lately. So I thought I'd share a few.

The tattoo I plan on getting in the very near future is a couple of lines from a Yehuda Amichai poem (translated by Chana Bloch). I started reading Yehuda last year and fell in love with his work. I identify a lot with these particular lines, mainly the acuteness of everything.

(on my upper ribs)

The second is, yes, a band tattoo. But I think it's obscure enough that I don't think I would regret getting it. I just recently came up with this idea so I may sit on it for a bit. It's the symbol/album cover for Disconnect From Desire by School of Seven Bells. SOSB are easily one of favorite bands--the whimsical, haunting lyrics/vocals/instruments are unlike anything else I've heard. And seeing them play live only solidified my respect and love for them and their deep, dream-like quality of music.

(underneath my armpit, like Rihanna's gun tattoo http://images.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/20090326/293.rihanna.lc.032609.jpg)

The third is one I've been sitting on for a while and I'm still not sure if I want it. It's a damask design, just because I love how it looks.

(front of thigh)

The fourth is one that if I don't get the damask design, I will get this instead (or perhaps on the other leg?). It would be the same concept as this--a landscape of trees positioned horizontally--except instead of along my side, it would be on the side of my thigh. I've always loved tree tattoos (even if they are done a lot), nature, hiking, the outdoors (all that lofty, liberal poetic stuff). Plus, I love the sideways orientation of this.

Soooo who wants to get a tattoo with me? :D